Thursday, November 11, 2021

D.N.S. Poem: "Mirror"

Your words.
Your eyes.
Filled with beautiful lies.

Your life?
Lived, under the guise
You so deeply despise.

Your depth?
My obsession: pathetic.

Your dreams?
Your mind?
Consumed by your pride.

My words?
Forever scattered
By this heartbeat pentameter.

My life?
Salvaging what's left,
'Til my final fucking breath.

My depth?
For a former substance addict.

Never lie.
But starved & cut-off? They die.
1:48 AM, September 24th, 2021

Love Always,

Thursday, September 30, 2021

D.N.S. Poem: "Tell It"

"You abandoned me
In my time of need
(for just a minute, bitch.
Let’s tell it like it is)

I was a mess
You got stressed
To much duress
For your mind to process

Loyalty was fleeting.
Your promises? Misleading.
Lucky my heart's still beating
After this excessive bleeding.

Fuck your promises.
Fuck your lies.
Fuck your love—
It fucked my life.

For just a minute, bitch.
Let's tell it like it is."

Love. Always.
P.S. Photo of the street mural taken in Hudson, NY. You'll find it if you park near Poured Candle Bar. While you're there, stop in for a vegan cashew cheese sammy and tell them the author sent you.

Friday, September 17, 2021

Fucking Freestyle: "Deadline Rhyme"

Deadline Rhyme - A Freestyle

Got me tossin'
In the towel
Feelin' foul.

Gotta edit.
Won't regret it.
Deadlines don't wait
While I procrastinate.

Can't be late.
Won't tempt fate.
Save the self-hate
For future dates.

Love Always, @HaleyBCU

Tuesday, September 7, 2021

D.N.S. Poem: "Beside Me"

I'll be the one
You come back to.
I volunteer.
Please, no jeers
I've made it quite clear
There'll be space here
When you're ready
For your rightful place
Beside me."

Love Always,
P.S. Read my thoughts on @YourQuoteApp

Thursday, July 29, 2021

D.N.S. Poem: "You"

I want to believe
What they say is true:
You never loved me
Just what I did for you.

Tell me fuck off
I meant nothing. It's true.
I'll only buy in
When I hear it from you.

Costs nothing to admit
Almost lost everything
Before I quit:
For me. Too late for you.
© @haleybcu (image & #poem)
-5:38 AM on Thursday, July 29th, 2021

Tuesday, July 13, 2021

D.N.S. Poem: "Tonight"

is one of those nights
I can't fathom
how you hate me.

It's not that
I don't see how.

I go through
periods of hating me
often enough to know;
it's possible.

Allowing myself
to believe you hate me?
I won't. Maybe I can't?

I trust my brain:
we need each other.
2:55 AM, July 13th, 2021

© Tragic Sandwich Productions

Sunday, July 11, 2021

Misplaced Monologues: "Hardest Thing"

During an application for a scholarship, I was faced with this hardly-innocuous query:

Write about the hardest thing you've ever done.

I didn't think. Simply tapped a finger in the text box and began slugging away with my injured thumbs:

The hardest thing I've done is the easiest to write about, and the underlying topic of every piece of fiction I pen; losing my father. He was stolen from my life at age nine by choices all his own, and it's as if my fully-formed memories stop there. Everything that's taken place afterward feels like a lucid dream, and I've been in that dream-state for the past fifteen years. His loss might not have been as abrupt and jarring, if I had not been kept in the dark about the severity of his illness. I was allowed to coast happily through the beginning of 4th grade without a care in the world, not having an inkling my father wouldn't make it to Christmas. My mother attempted to shield me from the horrors of reality, and when the time finally came for us to face it together; she choked, leaving my half-sister to blather on something asthenine about Angels and my father being one of them, ready to spread his wings.

Confused. Devastated. But mostly numb, I rode to the hospital I'd stopped visiting because there had seemed no point. I'd see dad when he came home. Why bother to visit?

No one forced me to go. Explained we might have little time. I barely saw him, then said goodbye to his eyes because he was intubated. I cried, I apologized, rode home in silence, and my mother never mentioned it again.

I found his urn two years later.

Love Always,

Wednesday, June 23, 2021

D.N.S. Poem: "Be Mused"

My addiction,
Your predeliction
Created fiction
And endless friction.

No other muse
Could I choose
To see me through
Perpetual blues.

But I wouldn't do.
And you?
You couldn't make due.
Wouldn't. This shit's on you.

Allow these words
To properly serve
From me to you
This temporary adieu;

My visibility
No longer gives a fuck
About your fragility.
© @haleybcu, 5 AM on June 9th, 2021

Wednesday, June 2, 2021

D.N.S. Poem: "Love Sick"

I'm sick of writing books for you.
To you. About you.
I'm revolted by my prose,
Nauseated by my poems, &
Vexed by my text.
You're the fucking worst,
& I love you
More than most.
© @haleybcu, May 27th, 2021

D.N.S. Poem: "Weight to Admit"

You admitted
To dreaming about
My apartment
"all the time."
An intentionally
Cautious statement.
Implying your lack
Of comfort with
Simply stating
You've been dreaming
About me.

But you have.
Admitedly so.
Admitted to me
While I anxiously hung
On your words
Reading your face
Trying not to say
"The wrong thing."

Five years ago
I remarked
part of the magic
of our bond
Was sitting atop
Mt. Friendship
While judging
the serfs.

Your expression soured
As you stated plainly,
"I'm not judgmental."
And the corner of your mouth
Quirked up.
Before you laughed
Wide and honest.
A moment etched
Deep in my mind.

When I called you yesterday,
I thought I waited long enough.
Because too long
Would be equally as treacherous.
I didn't "Princess you"
Spoke openly
While not admitting how much
I needed your brain
To help unscramble
My own.

I knew I'd said too much
When I hung up
Which is why I waited
4 fucking years
To try the first time.

"You're exactly what
You're supposed to be -
Which is a beautiful,
Twisted work in progress."

"I'll never cut you off like she did."

"You're my best friend."

You've said so much
Meant so little
And in the end,
I can only say this;

You have no idea
The weight off my shoulders
You removed
By taking my book.

Monday, May 3, 2021

D.N.S. Poem: "Tried"