Wednesday, June 2, 2021

Weight To Admit

You admitted
To dreaming about
My apartment
"all the time."
An intentionally
Cautious statement.
Implying your lack
Of comfort with
Simply stating
You've been dreaming
About me.

But you have.
Admitedly so.
Admitted to me
While I anxiously hung
On your words
Reading your face
Trying not to say
"The wrong thing."

Five years ago
I remarked
part of the magic
of our bond
Was sitting atop
Mt. Friendship
While judging
the serfs.

Your expression soured
As you stated plainly,
"I'm not judgmental."
And the corner of your mouth
Quirked up.
Before you laughed
Wide and honest.
A moment etched
Deep in my mind.

When I called you yesterday,
I thought I waited long enough.
Because too long
Would be equally as treacherous.
I didn't "Princess you"
Spoke openly
While not admitting how much
I needed your brain
To help unscramble
My own.

I knew I'd said too much
When I hung up
Which is why I waited
4 fucking years
To try the first time.

"You're exactly what
You're supposed to be -
Which is a beautiful,
Twisted work in progress."

"I'll never cut you off like she did."

"You're my best friend."

You've said so much
Meant so little
And in the end,
I can only say this;

You have no idea
The weight off my shoulders
You removed
By taking my book.

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