Poem: "This"

If I could say anything to you
It'd be so succinct, and I'd warn you
That you'd die in November.

You wouldn't believe me.
Who would? I'd sound crazy.
I'd cry, beg and plead with you
But you'd follow your truth.
And you'd die in November.

Regrets are fucking pointless—
how was I so spineless?
To not force you to believe
That you'd prematurely leave
And be dead before December.

There's no hope left, believe me.
But I hope you went easy
After half a decade of grieving
You deserved to finally breathe—

Not just fucking leave.

I'm so sorry these words
Won't be heard
By you. My goddamn girl
Who deserved the fucking world–
Not this.

I failed to lead you by the hand
When I'm somebody that under-fucking-stands
The grip of this shit
How your life was taken by it.
'Cause I almost went first.

There's no good reason I'm here
And you're nowhere.
Same age. Same town.
We both tried to drown.
Only one surfaced.

You didn't deserve this.
-8:50 PM, 01.06.2023

Love Always, @HaleyBCU